Edits, Challenges, and Trying to Focus on Life
The recent process of redefining and remapping the plot and characters of Born of Water is coming to a close. There are still some unknowns to figure out, but really I’m about ready to actually start rebuilding the story. I expect there will be a lot of hurdles yet. There are places where I’m not sure whose POV the story would be best in – and so, I’m thinking of writing portions in the POV of each character and choosing the best fit later. A lot of work, but it’ll help me get inside each character’s head!
But first, finishing this hash out of the revised plot gives me a chance to step back a moment. I’m VERY task oriented. I focus on one project and love to finish it A to Z. There are times when I “come to” and drop the layers of thoughts in my head, snapping back to reality with a sudden shock. I didn’t realize it was so quiet around the yurt – and has been for the last 6 hours! Good thing Adam has his own gears going, or he’d be wondering why I was lost in some illusionary alter reality!
But when the project is potentially months in the making, solely working towards completion just isn’t possible. Such an outlook tends to turn other outlets into responsibilities. Like updating websites for example! 😉 I can forget that it is all supposed to be fun, otherwise why do it? I’m not posting here or at No Map Nomads to up my site stats. I’m doing it because I like to write and hopefully connect with people who like to travel or are writers or are looking for the meaning of life too.
And I don’t write because my goal is simply to get published. It would be nice, but I’m sure it has draw backs too. I like my quiet life. I’ve said before that I want to travel the world, not to book signings! I realized recently that I write more because I absolutely love the challenge of it.
I’ve been an artist since I was quite young, drawing and sketching my way through days. For a long time, I sought a teacher and then professor who would teach me and challenge me. I have never been able to draw the images I see in my head. I never found a teacher who actually helped me draw better. Most profs I had seemed relieved I knew the basics and wouldn’t cause them any problems. It was . . . devastating in a way, disillusioning. I thought college was about higher learning and reaching for some greater consciousness. Boy that vision was shattered pretty quickly – lesson learned!
It just took me years to realize the next step: no one is responsible for my self development other than me. There is no great guru on a mountain top waiting for me to come and ask questions and will give me answers. Every mountain I’ve climbed is empty, but for me. That is a lesson to sit and meditate on. 😉
Though I love to draw, writing has a more intellectual focus which I love. With lines on paper, you can relate a world full of sights, smells, sounds, tastes, touches, and feelings and then give it to someone else and they will experience it all first hand as if it were theirs. I love that. But it also has punctuation, grammar, spelling, flow, verse, plot, themes, layers, and needs to come together in a certain way so that you don’t fall out of the concept. Unless you get into the Golden Square in composition, drawing and painting just isn’t quite as intellectually stimulating to me.
Writing and editing are my current methods of pushing myself to be better, challenging my perceptions, pushing my creativity. It is so easy for me to get wrapped up in it and forget about little things . . . like the mail. Yeah, I should go through that pile today. Maybe send off Adam’s sunglasses to be fixed. At least I’m not the only writer/artist lost in their own head! I remember reading that William Blake’s wife would put the bills on his dinner plate when they ran out of money for food. I have yet to be so loopy so as to miss a meal! 🙂
So today is a mini-break I suppose. Catch up on life, remembering you really should be present to enjoy it. And that challenging oneself is fine until it becomes an obsession. This is all supposed to be fun. The first sign I’m doing something wrong is when it is not!
10/25/2012 – Funny update to this post. That photo of all of my novel notes nearly kept me from crossing the border into Canada. I was heading to Ontario and hadn’t deleted my photos from my camera. The Quebec border patrol ripped our car apart, including checking all photos on both cameras we had with us! I had to explain those were for a personal project and for a blog post before they believed I wasn’t a spy. Scary enough, they knew a LOT about us – including the sale of our house. But they were very nice, leaving our dog’s lost squeaky toy carefully centered on the console between the seats . . . !